I’ve touched on this before, but to reiterate: many people will see your choosing to spend time alone as weird.
It’s widely accepted that everybody needs alone time, but they see it as just that: a need. The stigma arises when it’s found that you’re actively enjoying activities by yourself, and satisfying a want.
People may call you a loner, or suggest that enjoying activities alone makes you selfish. Whether you’re like me and already enjoy solidarity, or you’re someone trying to become more comfortable in their solo time, it’s important to be prepared for these criticisms.
The first thing you need to realize, as cliché as it may be, is that you shouldn’t care what other people think. Ultimately, the entire goal of becoming confident in yourself is to be happy accomplishing goals and participating in activities with and without input from others, and a great place to start working on that goal is by blocking out any haters who care about what you decide to do for yourself.
Introversion is always seen as the less romantic of personality types, but that doesn’t make it not normal or healthy. You can explain this to people: the idea that we all take on life differently, and that being by yourself does not mean you’re unhealthy.
One thing to remember is that often, this criticism will come from a place of concern. If someone cares about you, they may just want to make sure you’re not lonely. In this case, it’s always good to thank people for caring, and reassure them that you’re just content doing some things on your own, or that you’re working to build your solo confidence.
I hope this has been helpful to anybody scared of facing public perception and coming across as a “loner”. Be confident, don’t be afraid to explain your situation to others, and reassure anybody who is concerned that you’re just doing what makes you happy.
Remember: alone but not lonely.
This article after reading it really spoke to me. While I am generally considered extroverted, I do feel there are moments where I am often perceived as a loner. What you shared today was in itself a confidence booster that being who you are is normal and that is what we should all follow. Thank you for sharing this article. It really helped make me feel that being who I am is all I need to be no matter what that looks like to the world.
You’re right: I think a lot of people who are critical of one spending time alone really do some at it from a place of concern. I think that society really emphasizes connection with others as the most important part of life, and people often believe people who like to spend time alone are missing something. As someone who really likes to just hang out with myself, it’s sometimes very hard to explain that I’m actually doing just fine.
I really appreciate the way you’re explaining introvertism and the power of being comfortable with being alone. I truly find in life that I really only feel lonely when I’m surrounded by people who make me feel that way.
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